Usually the game is to be sold not to be told, but it looks like Complex has laid it out for those of you who choose to partake in many women.
Gentleman’s Guide to Dating Multiple Women (Swipe)
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Tag Archives: Relationships
Jewelz Of The Day…Finding The Right One
The idea of “The Right One” is something that floats through everyone’s mind; from the single, to the involved…and even the unhappily married. From the time we are born we begin to formulate a recipe for that One person that we think will curb our appetite for all others. Over time, we narrow down the list of ingredients, learn to better chefs, and of course…conduct the taste tests 
At this time of year, resolutions regarding relationships abound in every language, on every continent, so I figured we’d start our year with a little wisdom from Brother Bob on the issue…
Enjoy,
I.B.Edubl
The 3 Most Appropriate Gifts for Your ‘Situationship’(Swipe)
The holidays are approaching and so is the all important question: What do I give my significant other for Christmas? Well, what if your significant other isn’t quite so significant? The “situationship” is an all too real reality of dating now. It’s someone you like, but for whatever reason he or she isn’t your official boo. Still, you like them enough to want to kick it with them, talk to them fairly exclusively and spend intimate moments with them, so they mean something to you — even if you don’t quite know what that something is.
So, do you get this person a gift?
The decision (to give or not to give) can actually set a different tone in the situation…ship. And, the type of gift can send a message that you may or may not want to send. So, here are a few suggestions on what to get your “friend”:
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Taylor Swift Speaks On John Mayer… Sort Of…..
So if you want to be famous, date Taylor Swift. Ms. Swift has a habit writing about her former loves and placing the thoughts into song.
Glamour: And “Dear John,” also about a failed relationship, still seems to be resonating strongly. Does that surprise you?
Taylor Swift: I think that song really hit home with a lot of girls who had been through toxic relationships and had found their way to the other side of it. I’ve never looked out while singing a song during a concert to see so many girls crying.
Glamour: You never identified who it was about, but John Mayer recently told Rolling Stone that it was him.
Taylor Swift: How presumptuous! I never disclose who my songs are about.
Glamour: He said he felt…
Taylor Swift: No! I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know.
Glamour: You don’t? [Mayer told Rolling Stone that he was "humiliated" by the song, and that Swift's releasing it was "a really lousy thing for her to do."]
Taylor Swift: I know it wasn’t good, so I don’t want to know. I put a high priority on staying happy, and I know what I can’t handle.
Jewelz of the Day – A Goddess Revisited……
Have you ever been to an art museum and saw a beautiful statue or painting that was just too perfect? The lines, colors, shapes, vibe etc. seemed to be an extension from God himself. However, nothing seems to be what you remembered. That same statue/painting that seemed so gorgeous before, upon further inspection was not all it was cracked up to be. Those vibrant colors suddenly seem to be faded. The sharp shapes and lines are now dull and broken. That Sistine Chapel was nothing more than a graffitied up corner store wall.
Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans…..
I met this goddess back in high school. For me she was Denise Huxtable live and in memorex. Her face, voice, scent, walk, dress, style were like Beethoven for the soul. I loved everything there was about her. Her being was not only a sight to behold, but thoughts of her painted my brain even when her presence was absent. Beauty in motion.
We spent the spring of our teenage years learning the ins and outs of love. I had to be around 14 and she was 13. I can recall letter after letter from her sprayed with whatever scent she had at the time. And in return, I sent her some of my finest poetry. Shit, we were Will and Jada before Will and Jada.
From the first day we met, I felt I was made to love her. But as we all know, all good things must pass away. Lessons have to be learned and hearts have to be broken. It doesn’t matter if it is the First Love, in fact love loves when it is the first love; it helps the heart break more brittle. The goddess was no different. The spring of our romance soon hit the dead of winter and the love I once knew was nothing more than a fleeing memory. Live turned completely memorex and we were no more.
I can’t recall exactly how we broke up. In fact in retrospect it isn’t even important for this story. I’m sure it had something to do with a love turning into an infatuation which drifted to has been. I met more goddesses and I am positive she met more gods. The recess of our love came to an end as the bell rung for us to leave the playground. We both went on and did our thing, but deep inside I kept a corner of my heart filled with her memory. Not in a way the way that a door was open for her return, that year ran it’s course of seasons. But rather in a “I wonder how she is doing?” way. Weeks turned to months, than came years. And my goddess became a distant warm Indian Summer recollection as I moved through the seasons of my life.
One summer day years later I pulled into a spot that I liked to frequent for wings and beer with a few friends. As I sat there eating the 20th wing I caught a glimpse of a familiar face. This face had the look of better days long gone. You know that look people have when life has treated them pretty bad. When fun recess’ games turned into job’s sweat and tears… she had that look. I thought to myself, who is she? Where did I meet her? Was it an old college friend? Did we once work together? Maybe she lived down the street in the old neighborhood? Whatever it was I remembered the younger version of the face. Then our eyes met. And at once the goddess reappeared in my presence. Except now that beautiful brown face looked old and tattered. Her once bright eyes now had a red tint to them. Her hair which once was long and black now had little to no hang time to it. Life happened to her, and it gave a damn about whatever plans she had.
I made my way over to her to exchange a few words. Not sure what the conversation consisted of, but somewhere during that brief catch up she told me how she now had 4 kids and from her looks and ringless finger I assumed she was in it by herself. I didn’t ask, because frankly I didn’t care. My goddess I once loved had returned to me like an Egyptian statue that had been ruined by countless invasions. The work of art was now nothing more than a cheap replica.
Just as quick as the years flew by since we had last saw each other, I pushed away from the table she sat at. I returned to my wings and beer, and she left the bar to return to life as she knew it. I never saw her again after that night. She hasn’t popped up in my Facebook world, and I’m not catching her Tweets. But even though her homecoming queen days are as distant as her golden Born Day, I still remember her. Not as she is now, but as the Beauty she was during the spring of my life.
Sweater under leather, tryna tell her it’s cold game
That don’t mean it won’t change
Seasons
Men…. When You Marry A Drama Queen…. Expect Drama
I could care less about what happens in celebrity households honestly. Half the time I have my own nonsense to deal with. But with the drama that popped off this weekend with Chad Johnson, I felt the need to say a thing or two. Well actually one…. Don’t marry a drama queen/king Moguls!! It usually will end one way, drama popping off.
I don’t follow reality tv as much as I did when Real World 1 came out back in the the early 90′s, so I am not well versed on Evelyn Lozada. However many of you do, and I have plenty of friends who partake. I have gathered from video clips and dialogue with lady-friends that Ms. Lozada loves drama. She likes to toss bottles on other women, likes to fight in public areas, and from the sounds of it is nothing more than a hood rat who can’t control her emotions. So with that being said, is anyone surprised by the events that transpired between Chad and Evelyn?If you date/marry a firecracker, don’t be surprised if it backfires on you.
As a man you have to be smarter about who you choose to build your picket fence with. Good looks aren’t everything. If you know your lady-friend can blow up at the drop of a dime, why put yourself in that situation? Is the gamble worth it? Is your career worth it. These two have been married less than a season, not a television season, a meteorological season. She catches him with a receipt for condoms and the shit hits the fan. While said shit was fan hitting, someone caught the other with a headbutt. And now Chad Johnson has a problem on his hands.
Was it worth it Chad?
Would you do it all again?
Ms. Lozada will milk this incident for all it is worth, believe that.
Evelyn Lozada has few words for Chad Johnson after his arrest for allegedly head-butting her — first, stop blaming me … and second, get help for your problems, now.
Evelyn tells TMZ, “I am deeply disappointed that Chad has failed to take responsibility for his actions and made false accusations against me…It is my sincere hope that he seeks the help he needs to overcome his troubles. Domestic violence is not okay and hopefully my taking a stand will help encourage other women to break their silence as well.”
Most women if they were in a marriage of love would not be making statements right now. I would think that they would be somewhere getting their mind right. However from the sounds of it Evelyn Lozada found the nearest person who would listen to her song. Hmmmm. Maybe someone should have taken a stance when she was running up on all those females and this situation could have been averted.
I don’t know who did what to whom since I wasn’t there. And unless at some point both of their stories coincide, I will never know. But what I do know is if you lay with firecrackers something just might pop off!!
The Trilogy Syndrome….. Where Are You Now??
I recently took in The Dark Knight Rises as hundreds of thousands other Americans did this past weekend. And while it was a fantastic flick it got me to thinking about how time flies when you are waiting for a trilogy to finish. The Dark Knight trilogy started way back in 2005, seems like a long time ago doesn’t it? But what seems even longer was when Batman Begins came first came out and we knew we had at least 6 years before we got to the 3rd film. Hell when Batman Begins hit theaters we still had W in the oval office, now Kool Barack Ski is trying to reup. Time flies.
So let’s just assume that the average trilogy takes about 7 years to complete. Starting from today where do you see yourself in 7 years? Married with children, getting your Al Bundy on? Will you be the owner for the team you play for? Or will you still be stuck in that rut talking about how it is going to get sweeter later? It’s up to you, you are the sole controller of your destiny. Even though at times we lose sight of the big picture because we are focusing on the small details. It’s hard to see Mona Lisa when we are staring at a strand of her hair.
Life is like a Ferris Bueller quote , it moves so fast that if you don’t stop now and then to smell the roses you just might miss it. Whether it is relationships or what have you, we often times are not satisfied with where our life is. So what do we end up doing? Staying pat and blowing a few more precious years in the process. Before you know it, another trilogy has come and gone and we are still stuck in the same mud we were in when the first flick dropped. Almost feeling like quicksand.
But don’t lose hope Moguls. True, life is what happens when we are busy making other plans. But that detour we didn’t envision may just be the scenic route that’s needed to put your movement in perspective. Sometimes moments like that make us stronger and help us to appreciate the things that are right in our lives. No we can’t stop the hands of time no more than we can stop the rain from falling; but with careful and active participation when Avengers 3 drops we can be where we think we should be.
If You Can’t Get None, Go To Miami!!!!
Looks like out of all the cities in the good old USofA, Miami is having the most sex!! South Beach must be horny as hell, no wonder Miami Heat players are taking pay cuts to play there.
According to a survey by condom makers Trojan, the Magic City is indeed where the magic happens most. In a survey of their top 10 markets, the company found that Miami keeps it hot with the highest rate of sexual satisfaction (73 percent) and most sex (177 rounds a year).
Though the 305 couldn’t top Atlanta in claiming most sexually adventurous (71 percent for the ATL) and exhibiting the highest sex drive (7.2 out of 10 Georgia peaches), we are, apparently, doin’ it well — beating out New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Washington D.C., and Houston to take the crown.
Ladies The Way To Snag A Man Is A Good Meal….. Ask Kim Kardashian
If I said it once, I have said it a thousand times; the way to your man’s heart is with a good plate of food. Now upon first glance I would suspect that Kim Kardashian can’t cook. I mean she already looks good, has money, no kids, and a nice butt; why would she need to cook? She can order 5 star meals every wop if she wants. BUT from the pic above, I was wrong, the woman can cook. More women should learn also.
I’m not talking about those bland cook book recipe meals. No ma’am. I am speaking on that soul food that sticks to a persons ribs. That is a dying art, similar to sewing. We are losing recipes ladies. Those deep down south recipes. Those Sunday after church recipes. Those cook all day crock pot secret recipes. Etc. etc. No matter how you feel about Kim K, you have to give it up for her skills with the pots and pans.
Mogul Perspective: 4 Types of Women You Don’t Want To Wife
Man it can be hard out here for Mogul as he navigates through his sweet spot in search of the ultimate mate to help smooth things out. As we encounter different females, we soon realize that the same things that turned us on in our teens may do different things to us in our 30′s. For example, growing up I used to love the bushy bush on my lady friend. Now in 2012, the most I can stand is a perfectly manicured strip. Seasons change!
“I want a girl with extensions in her hair/ bamboo ear rings at least 2 pair!”
Now, as I have matured, my palate for women has matured also. I once loved beef jerky, now I want filet mignon. Twinkies used to be a delicacy created in God’s kitchen, now I want better than sex cake, that is actually….. better than sex. I have come to understand that when it comes to women certain things I can tolerate, and certain things are non-negotiable.
1. Get Yourself A Lady Who Can Cook!! Now I am not the dude that views women through stereotypical goggles, but I do feel that a woman who knows her way around the kitchen is a woman to keep. If she fills her stomach with the McDonald’s drive-thru special, she will do the same to you. Or worse, she will expect you to stop after work and waste your money on that trash. Next thing you know you’re sittin on the couch huddled up sharing a 10 pound burger with milkshake stains on your shirt.
2. Don’t Date The Chick Who Never Pays! I think the homie’s name was K-Dee who said….. Ass, Gas, or Cash, nobody rides for free. Damnit… that should be set in stone and hidden on the top of the Himalayas for the playas to find. I can’t tell you how many women I have dated who never pulled out their card to pay for shit. I couldn’t care if I had more 0′s than Hova when I roll up and my date worked as a cashier at Burger King, at some point she needs to pay. Even if it’s once out of every ten dates and all we do is grab a 2 liter of grape soda, a bucket of chicken and head to a park bench; she needs to pay for that joint. Some type of ratio has to be established. Not only is it fair, but it shows that the lady is appreciative. Little things mean a lot.
3. Don’t Date The Chick Who Has Nothing But Time On Her Hands! I am a grown ass man you dig? I don’t have time to be pancaking on the phone all hours of the night. Some women have nothing to do with their evenings than talk on the phone, which translates to “what are you doing? Who are you doing it with?” I have the mindset of ‘the only time we should be on the phone is to set up the next date’. I realize that at times a good phone call can be relaxing at the end of a stressful work day, but damn not every night. This is not high-school. We’re grown people doing grown things. The hours I spend on the phone whispering sweet nothings, are hours that I will never get back. And let you fool around and end a conversation with “I’ll call you back.” If you don’t hit them back that night, you will hear about it. Makes me ask, ‘were you really sitting by the phone waiting for me to call back?’ Time is money. Politely tell her to get a telemarketing job if she loves phone calls that much.
4. Don’t Date The ‘Slick Mouth Piece’ Girl- The shit may seem cute at first; the two of you going toe to toe exchanging barbs. Hell, it can even be sexy in the middle of the night. But at some point it gets stale. Next thing you know that cute little slick mouth is on exhibit at Sunday dinner with your family, or after she gets a few drinks in her she begins to “put you in your place” during happy hour. And you don’t want to have to slam the last shot and drag her out of Cheers ( not only will it land you some time in jail, usually slick mouth girls have a little brother that is waiting to wet you up!) Avoid those ladies at all cost. They are nothing more than a ‘get drunk with buddy’.
Your Ex Always Looks Better After It’s Over! by Russell Simmons
The pursuit of happiness is a lifelong journey. Along the way we are joined by family, friends and ones we fall in love with. When you find somebody special that loves you just the same, and sometimes more, you have to hold on tight to that someone. But sometimes your focus falters and your grip loosens…and you let go of that person.
In life there are no mistakes and there should be no regrets. We often times think we made mistakes and that we should have regrets, but a Yogi knows that the “world is in perfect order.” So when somebody on my staff sent me a picture of my ex-girlfriend, Melissa George, and her new boyfriend, I didn’t know how to feel. At first I felt regret because the relationship Melissa and I had was incredibly special. But, when I looked at the photograph again, the smile on her face and the look of her new boyfriend made me believe that their relationship is incredibly special as well.
At the same time, after being married for many years to a fabulous woman, I know that when love is pure, there is nothing better. So I’m happy that Melissa is in love. However, she did tell me that he is the exact opposite of me! I’m not sure, but I guess that’s a good thing.
One thing is for sure, your ex-girlfriend always looks better next to a handsome, French millionaire.
I continue my journey towards happiness knowing that I came close, but this one just wasn’t it. It sometimes is lonely to not have a partner by your side but it is also wonderful to be on the pursuit. There is no predetermined road map to happiness so I just put my faith in being a good person and knowing that one day I will find a lady to fall in love with. In the meantime, I send a piece of my prayer to the happiness of Melissa George and her new beau.
UML Presents: Healthy Alternatives to Valentine’s Day!!
Well, another Valentine’s Day is upon us. Ever since I stopped passing out little envelopes and suckers to the whole class in elementary school, the meaning of Valentine’s Day has taken on a number of different meanings. In my teen years it was an opportunity to lure Young Cuties into “the Web”; as a young adult, it was a chance to hone my Super Smooth Mack Moves, and as an adult…it became an all out responsibility!!
That’s right….I said it. I know some of you guys are thinking the same thing…you just don’t dare say it out loud. Hell, making sure you do good by your sweetie on February 14th ends up falling on the same list as going to your bi-annual dentist appointment and cleaning out the gutters. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got no problem with making sure my “Special Someone” feels loved…but I do have an issue with having to jump through hoops and do a song and dance just because the calendar says it’s February 14th and my girlfriend doesn’t want to have ‘That Look’ on her face when her girlfriends ask what I did for her on Valentine’s Day!!
Ladies won’t admit it, but it’s the god’s honest truth. We’ve all seen our friends and other couples have those long few
days from February 15th to February 20th (depending on how many times she had to tell the story of how you forgot or bought her a lame a$$ toaster) where an otherwise happy relationship turns into a dead zone because of those infamous V-Day events. Hell…I’ve even seen people break up! Well…I’ve got a few Real Mogul-Life suggestions to take the sting out of Valentines Day, and add some much needed Love & Affection to any relationship….Mogul Style:
- Create a Valentine’s Day tradition that isn’t as much focused on what you do for each other, but more about what you do for the other people in your lives that add Love and Support to you and your relationship. It’s something you can do together, will make you both feel good, and take the pressure off of measuring your Love by one day’s events.
- Choose another date on the calendar that has meaning (not your anniversary) and make it a point to celebrate your Love on that day. If possible, pick a time when your lives are notoriously busy and you normally wouldn’t have as much time together, and make it a point to do something you both Really enjoy. You can give the day a special name, and even begin to build some relationship enhancing traditions. It’ll give you something to look forward to at time when you need it most!
- Play hookie. Pick a random day, either before, or after Valentine’s Day and disappear with your loved one. Leave no messages, tell no one (other than making arrangements for work), and make no plans. Go somewhere no one knows your name, laugh loudly, be silly, eat well, and make Love someplace you normally wouldn’t The two of you will have secret reasons to smile for weeks to come.
Happy Valentines Day Moguls
The Denzel Washington Rule
So let’s just say you meet a nice young lady that you are digging something bad. You fool around and talk to her in passing a few times and now you want to move it to the next level. Good idea, right. Yeah go for it. But when you move in for the kill and ask her to go out on a nice date of steak, potatoes and movies, she gives you the I’m busy excuse. WTF???
Yes a lady can be busy, in fact I love it when a lady is busy. That way I can still have a fair amount of me time. But if she gives you the I’m busy routine, fall back. Think about if Denzel Washington was on the phone asking her to join him at the Texas Roadhouse would she still be that busy? NO, I don’t think so. She would find time for him if it meant adding 3 more hours to the day. Why am I saying this you ask.
Well if a lady is feeling you as much as you are feeling her she would make time for you. Even if she is truly busy that night, she would come up with a list of other options for that dinner and movie. But if she says she is busy and doesn’t offer alternatives, then my friend you may just need to move on. Find another person to share that piece of moo with. In fact cut that zero, fall back and when she comes to her senses she will come up with another time. If not, you didn’t need her. She will remember the time.
Things I Love – Day 1: Beautiful Women
I am a sucker for a beautiful lady. Ever since I was a young lad, I had a thing for beautiful ladies. Wether it was the girl down the street or pretty pig tailed girl sitting behind me in class, if she was good looking she had my undivided attention. Some dudes with low self esteem can always be caught with an ug ug on his arm. Bless the squares heart, ugly women need loving too. But Danny P needs and always needed to be around the beautiful ones.
You may ask why? Well it is quite simple; being in the presence of beautiful women guaranteed one thing, more beautiful women. Women for the most part are as simple as men, they want what they perceive they should have. If you are at a table of beautiful women laughing, drinking and feeling good. The other beautiful ones feel like they are missing out on something; your company. Before you know it, when you slip away into the shadows of the spot, the beautiful lady who doesn’t
know you will be trying to get your attention. Why? Because everyone else seems to know you, why shouldn’t she. Let me give you the classic example.
Back in the day when I was first learning my bop, I fancied a pretty young lady. She wasn’t just your ordinary pretty lady, she was more of a barn burner, the type of girl you would give your chicken patty to and starve the rest of the day. But for whatever reason she just wasn’t checking for me. I wasn’t the classic d-boy that she was used to, and I was probably a tad too young for her taste. I tried to get her attention, but it was to no avail she wasn’t checking for me. But when she caught me at the party, it was a different story.
That night I must have had the glow like Sho-Nuff because the girls, the girls, wanted me. Maybe it was the rayon shirt I copped earlier that day that had them going. Whatever it was, I wasn’t mad. But lo’ and be hold old Barn Burner spotted me by the refreshment table in my cool and she wanted to holla. Damn near broke her neck to get next to the kid. I was surprised at the 180 turn, I just blamed it on my new lucky shirt. But looking back it was the Beautiful Girls that hooked her in. If they knew me, she felt as though she had to know me also. Call it the laws of the Universe.
So Day 1 of my love story goes to the Beautiful Ones.
How Much Baggage Is Enough?
How much Baggage is enough?
It’s interesting when you first meet a young lady and the spirits are pouring, sparks flying high, and just good old fashion fun. After a while being a Mogul can take a toll on you because you are automatically categorized. With this being said, you have went on countless outings with ladies only to realize she isn’t your type or she has too much BAGGAGE. Baggage comes in many forms and being a single man I have witnessed all different types. The first type of baggage that is highly slept on is past relationships. A person can be so overwhelmed by his/her past that it affects everyday life for that person. We have to block out the fact that his/her closet may be full of deception, unshakable memories, ass-whippings, stalking, deaths, STD’s, to name a few. All men have slept with his share of females just as women like to block out that part of the brain.
It’s funny to me because you can be out at a bar or lounge and some old companion peeps out the crowd and heads straight for you. After this happens the date can go two ways, bad or worse. In your mind one is thinking you had something exclusive, yet you drive to a lounge off in the cut somewhere only to realize she knows somebody over here too. In her mind when it happens to you, she’s like this one of his x girlfriends and I can’t believe he brought me here.
So this leads to some frustration. Of course drinking can cure any ailment so one must stop dazing and move on into the present moment. No matter the attraction something can always kill the mood. I was out with a young lady one night and she knew someone at every location.
So in my mind I’m thinking sex was inevitable. And I mean guys kept coming out the wood works. I took into consideration that beautiful ladies get approached all the time, but this was different. I started noticing how other women were looking at her as well. They started coming up speaking to her as well. The next thing I know I start running into females I know. I’m like damn, what the hell is going on? At that point I stopped judging my date and accepted the fact were just popular people. No matter what situation a Mogul is in, patience has to play a part. It was good that the skeletons starting falling out because it makes for better understanding. The more I drank the more I started to like this lady. Two months down the road we became very close and started going out all the time. However, there was something about her that wasn’t adding up.
When I went to her house she didn’t have any photos up (red Flag). What kind of gorgeous woman doesn’t have any photos or friends for that matter? She lived in a 3 bedroom house and two of the rooms were locked at all times (I know this because I checked them to see if anyone was in there because I was in Memphis once with a woman and some guy like Bro-man walked out with a plate in his hand when I was told “I live alone”) which was very odd. I knew something wasn’t right but I couldn’t put my hands on it. She was so fine and down to earth so I proceeded to stop worrying about it. And then one day the inevitable happened.