Jewelz of the Day….. So Beautiful

I was listening to this conversation
Noticing my daydream stimulated me more
I was crumbling with anticipation
You’d better send me home before I tumble down to the floor
You’re so beatiful but oh so boring
I’m wondering what I’m doing here
So beatiful but oh so boring, I’m wondering
If anyone out there really cares
About the curlers in your hair
My little golden baby, where have all your birds flown now ?
Something’s glistening in my imagination
Motorvatin’ something close to breaking the law
Wait a mo’ before you take me down to the station
I’ve never known a one who’d make me suicidal before
She was so beatiful but oh so boring
I’m wondering what I’m doing here
So beautiful but oh so boring, I’m wondering
If anyone out there really cares
About the curlers in your hair
My little golden baby, where have all your birds flown now ?

How much lamer can this conversation get? I mean if her conversation was half as her looks, she would be the human equivalent of encyclopedias. Full of so much information. But instead I’m sitting here listening to what sounds like a walrus dying. Would rather someone pull my skin off my body with a pair of tweezers. You say it can’t be that bad can it? Why yes it can Moguls, yes it can.

See from a distance she looked like the Prototype, the one that 3 Stacks sung about. The lady I planned on laying in her hair with. A beautiful sumthin’ sumthin. You know the one. But instead I fooled around and snagged a vain one. So vain that she probably will think this post is about her. Poor, poor lady. Who would have thunk such a thing?

I wonder can her bird at least sing?

Danny P Ocean’s Top Ten Crushes For The Summer of 2012

 

You know that lady. The one who makes you stop in your tracks when you see her on tv. Or when you hear her voice you make sure you to catch the visuals. If you are surfing the net, when a post concerning her passes you, you grab it, look at the picture, read it, look once again at the picture and  then let her on her way. You know 9 .99 times out of 10 you will never cross her path, BUT if you are ever in her radius you will make her recognize.

That’s the one this post is dedicated to. My top ten *low key celebrity crushes. We all know about the Janets, Kims, Rihannas, Nias, Angelinas, Kellys, Beyonces… you get hte picture right? Well this post ain’t for them. This is dedicated to those chicks who put the work in but may not make the “top ten” list of Fresh.

Lola Monroe

This is one beautiful Ethiopian sister. Just beautiful for no damn reason. And I look forward to every drop of beauty she has coming my way.

Zoe Saldana

She isn’t really on the low low, but she sure is fine. That sophisticated she would rather treat me to dinner fine. That I bet a conversation with her would stimulate your soul and funky emotions fine. She has so much style and grace that she needs to hold seminars for some of these up and coming cuties on Saturday mornings in the village square type fine.

Priyanka Chopra

 

“Let me take you down, cause I’m going to…. Bollywood….. Where everything’s good… And nothing for you to trip about…. Bollywood forever.”

This lady went from eye candy to international sensation. Beauty in motion always gets my attention.

Shevonne Sullivan

I swear whenever I catch Shevonne on TMZ an angel gets her wings!! Not sure exactly what it is about her, but she makes me want to hang out with her and all of her cats. Not sure she has cats, but she seems like the type to have cats. And I hate cats. That just lets you know how much I am down with Angel lady. And Angel Lady be nice when the paparazzi catch me coming out of a Vegas club with Janet Jackson, could ya?

Alex Wagner

I love a lady who is current on her affairs. That is probably why I have a thing for cute news reporters. I don’t catch her much, but when I do…..

I’m looking forward to being interviewed by her in two years. Goals Moguls, you have to start somewhere.

Jessica Alba

I mean it is Jessica Alba. Who doesn’t love her?

Jenni Farley

This that bullshit. I know. She seems like one of those jump-offs you would take home from the club and play a game of sleepers like it’s 1995 all over again!! I bet she can smoke with the best of them, out drink the rest of them. I just might regret it the next morning, but JWoww looks like she guarantees a nice drunk night!!

Olivia Munn

Olivia mf’n Munn!!! I’ve had eyes for her ever since she was on Attack of the Show. (My inner geek shines thru) What pretty girl do you know that can beatbox? Olivia mf’n Munn can!! Can you name a lady besides Roxanne Shante and Queen Latifah that even knows what beatboxing is? In fact, if I were to ever run across Olivia during my Mogul travels, we will spend the night spitting raw raps until the sun comes up.

Jill Scott

Jill Scott  is that nice cuddle buddy on a crisp fall night. A bottle of Ciroc, incense burning, and jerk chicken in the kitchen. A good ass night! What more can I say. I have been up on Jill for a minute now, as much of you have. On the low I am sure some of you She-Moguls have a woman crush on Jill. It’s okay…. I know…. nothing to be ashamed about. Jill has that effect on people.

Lolo Jones

You know how they had Love & Basketball? You can call this one Love & Hurdles. Even though she didn’t get her medal a few weeks ago during the Summer Games, she is still a winner in my book. Ooowa I just wanna lay, I just wanna lay in her hair all the live long day looking ass!!!

Mogul Perspective: The Night Watchman

 

Dear American People,

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, “Someone may steal from it at night.” So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports. Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer; then hired two people. Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back.” So they laid-off the night watchman.

NOW slowly…let it sink in.

Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter. Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY during the Carter administration?

Anybody? Anything? No? Didn’t think so!

Bottom line is, we’ve spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an agency, the reason for which very few people who read this can remember! Ready?? It was very simple… and at the time, everybody thought it very appropriate. The Department of Energy was instituted on 8/04/1977, TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL. Hey, pretty efficient, huh??? AND NOW IT’S 2012 — 35 YEARS LATER — AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS “NECESSARY” DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR. IT HAS 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES AND APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES!

34 years ago 30% of our oil consumption was foreign imports. Today 70% of our oil consumption is foreign imports.

NOW, WE HAVE TURNED OVER THE BANKING SYSTEM, HEALTH CARE, AND THE AUTO INDUSTRY TO THE SAME GOVERNMENT? Hello!! Anybody home?

Signed,

The Night Watchman

Mogul Perspective: Trayvon Martin’s America

 

I would call the death of a 17 year old boy tragic under just about any circumstances I can think of. My choice of words would not be effected by the race, creed, or culture of the victim. Since the incident occurred, I’ve heard countless reports, re-tellings, statements of rage, and excuses as to why/how this whole thing even happened; And quite frankly…I’m sickened by the whole damn thing. Each time there’s a violent incident in the U.S. where injustice is called into question, the citizens of this country create the same polarized atmosphere that brings up discussions/debates on everything from race matters to the legality of owning weapons, and everything that pops up in between. Every civil rights lawyer, lobbyist, racist with an agenda and asshole with a sounding board (including me) jumps up to muddy the  already murky water. Somewhere in the process, there are real people that get lost in the shuffle, and when no one’s looking, they end up surrounded by silence, nursing memories and trying to move on with their lives; and in the end, the very fiber of America is effected. Maybe just this one time we could cut through a little of sensationalist red tape and eliminate a whole lot of the inflammatory comments that will be re-broadcast a million times in front of useful information that could be used to move the situation, and the people of the affected communities forward.

Let’s start by acknowledging some of the basic truths about ourselves as American people:

  1. We’re all racially biased. Our country has been riddled with it from day one when fellow Americans first convinced themselves it was okay to claim the Native American’s country and needed a way to justify it. It’s who we are. It’s what we teach our children, and it’s present in every aspect of our uniquely American lives.
  2. We’re a violent nation. Not because we have guns, but because we’ve used guns and any other weapons at our disposal to promote our agenda from the very beginning. We became a prominent Nation because we kicked other’s in the ass. It’s what has paid off, and we’re sticking with it.
  3. Justice is always more defined by those in power, then it is by those that suffer from the effects of injustice. And those that suffer from injustice are only interested for as long as the uncomfortable feeling of injustice lasts. Once they become comfortable with the discomfort, the outcries stop, the rage passes, and it takes an even greater injustice to make them cry out again.

Let’s be clear, I’m not anti-American, I’m not anti-guns, and I spend a great deal of time advocating for justice. I am a man who has been an American my whole life, and I can’t think of a single day that these three things weren’t true; and the circumstances around Trayvon Martin’s murder, unfortunately, won’t change that. However, in every instance that our nation is plunged into these turbulent circumstances, whether it’s 911, a school shooting, or some other heinous crime; there comes an opportunity to challenge and explore our own individual humanity, and ask ourselves…what IS just?

In order to pursue justice, don’t we first have to pursue the truth? As citizens that elect/employ individuals to protect and serve our interests, are we even interested in the level of integrity those appointed conduct themselves with? Don’t we want to believe that if we found ourselves in a difficult situation, whether as victims or perpetrators of crimes, that the truth would be sought, as well as a solution that best serves the interests of the whole community? Does our America really include justice for all?…or is that just something that sounds sweet when recited in a pledge?

I don’t pretend to know what happened that night. I wasn’t there and I don’t have all of the facts. I know that there are two sides to every story, and we’ve only heard bits and pieces. I know that there are no instances where two people are involved where both don’t play some role in the outcome. I know Trayvon is dead. I know George Zimmerman is alive…and I know the truth is still buried.

This situation challenges us all because it forces us to revisit some very painful and very American issues. We know that there has always been a double standard on justice. We don’t like to say it out loud or take ownership of it…but we all know it’s true. In America, justice can be bought, delayed, ignored, an even fabricated. There are wayyy too many tools created for this sole purpose. It’s why we have so many laws written with so many words, it’s why we have so many lawyers, it’s why we have so many jails, so many politicians, so much crime, and so little real justice. This is the double standard that defines America: Create justice for some while committing a blatant injustice against others. It was Columbus’ America, it was Geronimo’s America, it was Jesse James’ America, it was Abe Lincoln’s America, it was Jim Crow’s America, and now we have to decide if it’s Travon Martin’s America.

Be Human. Be Honest. Be Just.

I.B.Edubl

Peep G.A.M.E. the GrownAssManExperience- “Tim Tebow Turns Plain Water into Gatorade!!!”

 

 

segment 2 of 3

“ALL I DO IS WIN, WIN, WIN, NO MATTER WHAT!!” Good vs Evil….Broncos vs Patriots!!! Tebow vs Brady!! The Peep G.A.M.E. Crew predicts NFL playoff pics for next week’s games.

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What’s The Beef Common? Rappers Who Rhyme Soft???

So the talk in the hip hop beef world is centered around this Common and Drake spat. No one for sure knows why Common has problems with the Canada Dry rapper, but whatever it may be, it has left Common with a bad taste in his mouth. About a month or so ago a track leaked where Common seemed to be calling out a rapper for being sweet. Rumors began to fly about who was the Chicago rapper targeting, was it Kanye? Was it Drake? Was it MC Hammer? Who the fuck knew? But Common cleared all that up during an interview with Sway, saying Pillow Talk Drake was the unlucky soul that the song was targeted towards. Word?

So then Drake being the dude that he is, jumped on Rick Ross’ Stay Schemin record and threw a few bars towards Common, even though in my opinion he should have taken the Jay-Z role and laughed it off. But nope, Wheel Chair Dreezy wanted to show us he wasn’t sweet after all.

Probably not a smart move, we remember A Bitch In You. Don’t we?

Well Common didn’t even let the speakers cool off before he responded to Drake.

So I’m asking what is this beef really about? Yeah Drake has that Bed Bath and Beyond flow at times, but is that enough to diss someone over? Especially if you used to wear crochet shirts and pants, looking like the male version of Badu! Yeah I remember. Could it be over something more than rhymes? Word on the internets suggest that it is over Serena Williams? Not sure, don’t know. But I find it strange or just a coincidence that Serena used to play with Common for a while. Then got up and picked her balls from a new can with Drake.

So Sense this Common/Drake pillow fight ain’t showing no signs of letting up,  the question I have for you all is do you care? I mean a Common/Drake battle is about as exciting to me as Krs-One getting at PM Dawn. Not feeling it. I know some of you out there is geeked about this as if it is the return of LL Cool vs Moe Dee. It’s not that. It is more akin to a varsity dude playing one on one with the young upstart from the 8th grade. You tight, but you ain’t ready. This is like Andre 3000 calling out Fonzworth Bentley for wearing pink! Nope, almost hypocritical if you ask Danny P.

But whatever the reason is the beef is in full swing. Your serve Drake.

 

 

How To Make A Black Family Movie

My girlfriend is a sucker for holiday movies. Every season she pops in the same dvd’s or watches the same Lifetime movies as she did the day before. I wouldn’t be surprised if she could provide the captions to some of the flicks. The other night she popped in the movie “This Christmas” with Chris Brown and them. While she sat there with her holiday mood in full swing, I kind of laughed to myself about how predictable the movie was. Not saying it was a bad movie, it actually hit the spot. But it reminded me of countless other Black movies made after Love Jones.

  1. Get A Rapper/Singer To Star In The Movie What better way to get the audience to come see the movie? Get the latest, hottest, greatest rapper/singer to lend their non-acting talents to the movie. Preferably a rapper/singer that has or is having legal problems. It will guarantee at least a $20 million opening weekend. The young ladies will swoon, and since the ladies is swooning the dudes will follow.
  2. Do The Soul Train Line While A Song From The Early 80′s Play In The Background I swear if I have seen one soul train line, I have seen a thousand. Is that the only way we know how to move? From wedding receptions, picnics, and Christmas specials, somewhere in the first hour you are guaranteed to see a family doing the soul train line. 9 times out 10 they are dancing to Zapp or the Gap Band!
  3. Have 2 Family Members With A Long Lasting Beef I have spent a many Christmas breaks with my family, and I have yet to see a fight. Yet in just about every black family movie you will see a fight. Either between 2 brothers fighting to get their dad’s respect, or 2 sisters who are jealous of each other. And the funny thing is after years of beef, the two family members usually make up before the end of the movie. Years of beef, resolved in 90 minutes!! Now that is family power.
  4. Get Mekhi Phifer To Star In It It seems as if Mekhi has been in every Black family movie that was ever made!In fact a movie ain’t a movie until Mekhi shows up. Even if he just walks thru the set and says “I’m here y’all!”, Mekhi is here. And don’t get me wrong I am down with him, Clockers and Paid In Full are two of my favorite movies, but if I never see him show up at another family reuion I will be happy.
  5. Interracial-Couple Anyone that knows Danny P, knows that I am cool with interracial loving. Black, white, red, tan, buttermilk, green, it doesn’t matter I love them all. But it kind of becomes predictable when every family movie has that one interracial couple that they  joke about. Not funny and very tired. Would it be as funny if Jennifer Aniston showed up with her Djimon Hounsou and her family started making Shaka Zulu, and watermelon jokes?

End Of Days….Woman denied food stamps kills self, shoots children

— A woman in the border city of Laredo, Texas who was angry because she had been denied food stamps killed herself and shot and critically wounded her two children late on Monday, authorities said on Tuesday.

The 38-year-old woman entered the Texas Health and Human Services Commission office in downtown Laredo on Monday afternoon and demanded to speak to a supervisor, said investigator Joe Baeza of the Laredo Police Department.

The woman, whom he declined to identify, pulled out a handgun and started walking through the office, threatening several employees, he said.

“She had issues and felt that she had been let down by social services in general,” Baeza told Reuters on Tuesday. “She was making all sorts of outlandish claims.”

She took an office supervisor hostage in a room in the office, he said, and a SWAT team managed to evacuate the other three dozen people in the office and clear the area.

After two hours of negotiations, the woman allowed the male supervisor to go free, but she remained in the office with her two children, a 10-year-old boy and a 12-year-old girl.

“About 11:45 last night, she hung up the phone with negotiators, and a little bit later, negotiators heard three shots,” Baeza said on Tuesday. “What had happened was that she had shot each of her children once and herself once.”

The children were airlifted to a hospital in San Antonio in extremely critical condition, he said. The mother was dead at the scene, he said.

Baeza said the woman, who was from Ohio, arrived in Laredo about eight months ago and had lived with her children in several locations around the border city of 236,000.

Stephanie Goodman, a spokeswoman for the Health and Human Services Commission, confirmed that the woman applied for food stamps in July and was denied. Goodman said the woman’s application was incomplete and that she was not sure whether the woman qualified for assistance.

“We’re still trying to track down exactly what happened with the case,” she told Reuters. “As you can probably imagine, I think she had a lot of other issues she was dealing with as well.”

Baeza credited the supervisor with remaining calm and allowing officers to evacuate the other employees and members of the public who were in the building.

He had been with the state agency for 24 years and had been a supervisor since 2000, Goodman said. She said the commission will provide counseling for its workers.

“They go into this profession because they really want to help people, so when something like this happens, it’s doubly traumatic for them,” she said.

She also said the commission will look at what it needs to do to ensure its offices are safe for staff and the public. She said there was an unarmed security guard on duty on Monday at the Laredo office, where Texans can go to apply for food stamps and other programs.

“This is the kind of thing you hear of happening in other places, but not in our quiet home town,” Baeza said.

Reuters

When Is Whipping Too Much???

 

I am all down for a good ole fashion ass whipping. In my day I received my fair share, and I lived to tell about it. BUT at what point is an ass whipping too much? When should a parent slow they role. Recently a video popped up that showed a Texas judge beating the breaks off his 16 year old daughter because she downloaded some illegal music. I can understand the pops being upset about it, that is only natural. But damn, the beating that comes next in my mind is a little uncalled for!!

First of all the duaghter is 16 years old at the time. What 16 year old do you know that gets their ass whipped? Most of the time you stop catching bad ones before middle school. Why? Because they stop hurting!!! The only thing left to do is damn near kill your child. And that is exactly what looks like is happening in this video. The old man looked like he was about five more swings from killing her.

Second, the daughter has cerebral palsy. I am no expert of medical disorders, but I don’t think you should be beating the shit out of your daughter if she has cerebral palsy. Not a good look. When I think of cerebral palsy, I think of old girl from Facts of Life who would make a guest appearance every once in a while. I couldn’t imagine whipping her!!

Last, he is a man! No man should beat the breaks off their daughter. I understand a pop or two on the little pamper when they growing up. But that should stop by the time they get to grade school. Let the Ma Dukes handle the disciplining! A man who beats their daughter probably beats women also!!! Just my 2 cents.

So today’s water cooler question is, when is a ass whipping too much? When should a parent ease up on hitting kids with a switch??

Simpin’ Ain’t Easy: Featuring Kanye West

Ok, you the Louie Vuitton Don! Can probably have the baddest model,chick, hoodrat, queen, girl next door, whatever you want. The choice is yours. Why would you get caught out there simpin? Yeah Amber Rose was your girl, we know that. And you just may love her, no problem there. BUT you know she with someone else. Why you simpin?

Wiz Khalifa is winning right now Ye. Don’t let him. You up on stage making this situation into some soap opera triangle love type foolishness. Don’t do it B!! That boat has left the dock. Amber Rose has moved on. It’s clear to all of us, you haven’t. Ease up G!!! What if Andre 3000 was up on stage saying “Texas, I like to thank y’all for making Badu!! I really miss her. So here is my next song….. Sorry Ms. Jackson!”… when he knew damn well she was making her Sense with Common!!!

In a few years when you sit down to make the tell-all-book, then you can have a chapter dedicated to Amber Rose. You can tell us how good it was, and what you missed about it. But to do it know. Not a good look. Let it go. Move on and get you a badder chick!! Amber is now Wiz’s boo.

Barbara Walters And Them Discuss The N-Word

This N-Word can sure get the ladies of The View worked up can’t it, it gets them rather tense. The ladies have a somewhat heated, but respectable debate on the usage of the word when other people use it who aren’t black. At least this time around Elizabeth doesn’t shed a tear.

Michael Irvin: “The young ladies today…” Vol. WE’RE LOSING RECIPES!!!

Michael Irvin straight spazzed out when discussing Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts. And I agree with him, the Colts should have at least prepared for the day that Manning won’t play. BUT he really hit home with the comments about young ladies not getting their cook on!

Women the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. I know y’all mama’s and them told you that. But somehow the fact is getting lost in the sauce. Too many women don’t know how to cook!!!! I can’t tell you how many times I have dated a lady and I was a better cook in the kitchen than she was!!! And yes I can cook, but damn I had a late start. These women should have been learning from they moms many moons ago.

I once dated a girl who couldn’t even make tuna fish!!!! WTF? Tuna fish ain’t greens or dressing. It is tuna!!! And if you can’t fix that, then you can’t be in my life. Me and the kids can only eat fast food so many nights, before we start looking for a home-cooked meal!!!

Too  many ladies don’t know their way around the kitchen, and that is sad. Like Michael said, we are losing some good recipes in this fast food generation.

It Must Be The Shoes, Cause It Ain’t Yo Face….

And baby, don’t forget the pumps!!! -Mike Biv.

The only thing better than a woman in a mean pair of shoes, is a beautiful woman in a mean pair of shoes. As far as I am concerned, a lady that has on a nice shoe can go from 0-7.5 just by the shoe alone! I’ll damn near try to imagine the lady fine if she has that mean shoe game in effect. If she has on killer shoes, she can be standing in front of me short of rollers in her hair and it won’t matter. The whole time I am thinking, “that’s a nice shoe!”

And not your average shoe, I am speaking of that mean shoe game. Not those little $2 flip flop swimming specials or those Roman gladiator kick up dust joints. Those don’t do a thing for me, and I am willing to bet your man isn’t to thrilled about those either. I am hyping up the type of shoe that has other women looking like “DAMN! Where she get those from!” The neck breaking shoe game. It can be a heel, a boot, a flat, a sandal it don’t matter to me. If the shoe is fantastic, she has my attention. At least from the ankle to the kneecap.

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