Beyonce Returns Just In Time To Shut Down Your Internet

Written by on April 24, 2016


Somewhere out of a pool of purple tears from a dove Beyonce emerged last night and proceeded to shut the internet down as only Beyonce can. While the masses were sitting back trying to get back on with life, Queen Bey was plotting how to take over the web once again. To help the world get over the passing of his Royal Badness, Beyonce dropped a glass of Lemonade and it was heard around the world.

As I sat back and watched a lil NBA playoff basketball I began to see my newsfeed and Twitter getting hyped about some HBO Beyonce special that was about to come on.  I myself had no idea that Beyonce was about to drop something on HBO, I was just getting ready to watch the Prince SNL tribute. But as the Tweets continued to come out I figured what the hell, let me see what Mrs. Carter is up to. And boy she didn’t disappoint.

Lemonade is basically another visual album from Beyonce. And as I watched the special it reminded of an Illuminati after-party with all of the weird visuals but in an artistic type of way. However, one recurring theme that was on display was  cheating. Somebody cheated on Beyonce and her beautiful self wasn’t going to sit down taking it. After about 20 minutes I began to wonder when was the last time we saw Jay Z alive? Somebody please get Ty Ty on the phone and have him go check up on his boy. Beyonce may have his ass hog-tied in the basement with a Gucci sock in his mouth. Her ass looked mad!! At one point she even threw her wedding ring at the camera!! Damn playboy, did you really tip toe around with Becky with the good hair?

Luckily for Jay-Z, he showed up in the third act hugged up on Beyonce’s feet so I knew our boy Hov lived to see another day. Whew that was close.


After Lemonade concluded Beyonce did what a true Mogul would do, drop her album exclusively on Tidal. And as you already know cats were falling through their own asshole trying to secure a subscription. Smart business move Bey. It seems like Tidal may be finally living up to its promises. Now all we need is an exclusive Jay-Z album, that is if Beyonce lets his ass out of the basement.

As far as the music it is too soon to see what the masses think of it, but now that Beyonce has mastered the art of releasing an album the strategy has to be good enough to secure gold. Don’t you think? Singers /rappers around the world need to take notes. This is how you drop an album in 2016.

If you haven’t already done so head over to Tidal to check out this visual album Beyonce done dropped.

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