“I Know I’m A Bitch!”

Written by on September 15, 2015

IMG_2492222638157I know, I know…the title is a bit raunchy and bold, right? Some of you may even be a bit taken aback because clearly this does not align with my usual inspiring and empowering quotes and memes. I get it; but you can all rest assured that these words are not my own. However, while these may not be my words, unfortunately, they are the words of a woman. Girlfriend had no shame in her game either as she proudly proclaimed that she indeed knew she was the “b-word’. I couldn’t believe she’d said that out loud; especially in a professional setting.
The real kicker is that this a common, often celebrated statement of a seemingly defining moment for most woman to be able to admit this about themselves. It’s almost as if it’s a badge of honour to be the “b-word”. How did we as women come to accept this demeaning word as part of our identity? In 2015, you’re not really considered a respectable woman if you’re not referring to yourself as a bad “b-word”. Women have adopted it as a term of endearment for their best girlfriends. I know I used to. As I think back to some of my interactions with some of my closest friends, especially in my early 20’s (about 2 years ago…*clears throat to keep from choking on that lie*) I cringe at the thought of how my friends and I must have sounded to others as we would call each other the “b-word” to express ourselves to one another as if it was going out of style. We could call each other the “b-word” all day long but the minute an outside chick called either of us one, it was over! Lord forbid, a grown boy (because grown men don’t call women out of their names) called us one, we would lose our minds!
However, back to the original question I posed, when did this become acceptable? When did we as women concede to the idea that it is okay to be called anything other than our birth given names? What exactly is a bitch? Webster would define it as the following: 1-the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals, 2- a lewd or immoral woman; a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse. Wow! Is this what we think of ourselves, ladies? When we see our closest friends do we view them as “lewd”, “immoral” and “malicious”?
Men, please don’t think you’re off the hook because as the leaders of our families, communities and country, we need you to pour into us and lift us up, but here it is that you will nod your heads and blast the very music that degrades the being that gave you life. As fathers you teach your daughters what to expect from a man. However, here it is 2015 and our young girls look up to women who glorify themselves as “b-words” and our young boys do everything within their power to attract the attention of the baddest “b-word”.
What I am attempting to convey is that we teach others how to treat us. The very behavior that is reinforced will continue. It is time to build ourselves up. Ladies, you can’t attract the right kind of man if you’re viewing yourself as a “b-word”. You can’t walk around complaining that all men are dogs when you consider yourself the baddest “lewd, immoral and malicious female dog.” Remember, you attract what you are, not what you want. When you begin to refer to yourselves, but more importantly, conduct and carry yourselves as the Queens that you are the right King will find you. Ladies, we are our daughters’ first role model. She is watching the way we walk, dress, fix our hair, but above that she is listening to our language. In closing, the next time you want to refer to yourself as the “b-word” consider using business-minded, beautiful, blessed, brilliant or bold.
Until next time…
Peace, Love and Light,
Tiana Marshé


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