Questions I Have As A Soon To Be Dad
Written by Danny P Ocean on May 14, 2015
Last year about this time I was preparing for my wedding. This year about this time I am preparing for my first child. Funny how that goes ain’t it? And just like the days leading up to the wedding people are asking me the infamous question…. “Are you scared??” And my answer is the same now as it was last summer…. “Who me??? Nah.” “I got this.”
But I do have questions like… Will I be able to handle the labor? (Even though I won’t have to do a thing!) Will embryonic fluid stink? Will it be an easy labor for my wife? And so on and so on. Here are a few of the most common questions I have.
- What type of pops will I be? I didn’t have an in house example on what a father looks like, so at times I think about how will I be as a dad? Of course it is easy to say ” I will be this-that-and the third when I have a child, but how can you be for sure with no concrete examples to pull from? Yes I have seen father’s in action either in real life or on tv, but it isn’t the same. Maybe I will be like one of my uncles or will I be like James Evans? Only time will tell.
- What type of child will I have? I was a fool when I was a young buck. Creeping with the cuties, breaking hearts, being the high school version of Big Daddy Kane. All of that. And guess how I got rewarded? God blessed me with my very own daughter. Isn’t that nice? Now I know as a man we have double standards. When our sons bring home girlfriends we give them high fives if they did well. You know that old chip off the old block stance, “my boy knows how to pick em!!” But as a father of a daughter I don’t think that is the correct position to take. We love to protect our daughters; in our mental no dude is good enough for our lil girls. But with that being said I definitely don’t want to be the father who is so tough on their daughter that as soon as she gets from under my watchful eye she comes back pregnant. Thought provoking shit isn’t it?
- I never changed a diaper! How do you change a diaper?? That is no exaggeration! I never changed a single shitty diaper, like not ever. That was like a badge of honor for me.I’ve been around when diapers were changed. I caught the stench of wicked dooties that were dropped in babies that I have held, but I was able to pass them off to the rightful owner. But the jig is up Moguls. Some day and someday soon I will be up in the middle of the night wiping booty, changing diapers, and rocking a baby to sleep. I was told by a friend even though those little diapers stink, to cherish every day.
- Do I want another? The first one isn’t even here yet and I am already trying to decide should I go for another. Being that my first child will be a girl, I think it is normal for any father to yearn for a son. You know we all want a mini me. But do I want to put my wife through another 9 months of pregnancy? She already has a daughter, and now one on the way will make two. (See I can count!) But what if we try again and strike out with a 3rd girl? I can’t imagine. I would probably do better trying to create a little dude in the basement. Decisions, decisions.
- What will she look like? As of now she is nothing more than a twinkle in our eyes. We have seen 3d ultrasounds but she looks nothing more than a little alien. Not alien ugly as in ET, but still a little alien nonetheless. Maybe alien as in a hairless Ewok alien. And this question won’t get answered even when she is born. We have to wait a few weeks for the color and features to set in. Because even after birth babies look like nothing more than a big headed sleepy human.