I know, I know, the headline is cliche’, and the topic has been beaten into the ground, but the conversation continues to intrigue every woman I have ever met. Almost to the point of wondering if there is an answer that any woman will really accept, or truly consider for the purpose of enhancing their understanding and improving their relationships.
With Tiger’s issues hanging in the air and raising the hairs on the neck of every scorned woman, the conversation seems to be more popular than ever. I considered not even gracing the UML pages with the topic….but, alas, I have relented. After all, I make sense every once in a while, and my opinion’s as valid as anybody else’s 🙂
My take is this:
Any man with any level of drive and swagg has on his list of needs…..a woman. Not only a woman, but a woman that he feels proud to have on his arm. A man will spend years of his life honing the swagg needed to attract….and keep that woman. In the process, he will also nurture his competitive and dominant nature, and grow the confidence necessary to go along with the perfect words, well-rounded wardrobe, and individuality to go in his swagg bag. How will he do this….he will pursue relentlessly, and fail….until he succeeds. My guess is that the average Alpha male that exudes all that confidence and sexiness that women love and want, and has the wisdom to recognize, woo, and keep his Queen, will have exercised his “gift” thousands of times. He will have learned to shrug off the failures, and revel in the victories. He will have done it so much, that it will have become second nature.
After years of conquest, and thriving on the energy it creates, it will become a part of him; as much as a wild feline embodies the hunt and hones instincts that can’t be bred out of them even after hundreds of years of domestication. In house cats we recognize this instinct, and purchase toys and gadgets that allow that animal to exercise those instincts out of respect for the fact that is a “necessary” part of its identity. A man, even after finding that Queen, and domesticating himself, will still experience that need for conquest. Yet we expect that man to rationalize his way through those instincts. We chastise him if the urge to conquer doesn’t immediately subside when he makes his vows, yet we continue to measure him by his virility and ability to be successfully competitive. A man who loses that, may very well lose his Queen….or have his manhood questioned in “gatherings of the female mind”.
The very things that women are drawn to in a man, are the very things they want to drive from him once they have him, so that they can feel as if they possess him.
A man cheats, not because he doesn’t love his Queen, or even because he’s not content with what she provides, but because he instinctively crave the rush that comes from the conquest. It’s a domain in which he can be successful, on his terms, and be rewarded; almost regardless of all other challenges in life. Even if he’s not successful at work, or the best father he wanted to be, or even the best man he wants to be, in that moment of pursuit, interaction, exchange of energy and test of wills….his victory will rely on none of these things. And that woman’s choice to yield and surrender all that she is, will be reward enough….if only for a moment.
Tell me what you think Moguls? Comments welcome….