Mogul Travels: 10 Things To Remember When Traveling To Mexico
Written by Danny P Ocean on September 24, 2014
This past week Mrs. Ocean and I took our talents down to Mexico for a delayed honeymoon. I finally put my passport to use and got myself a stamp out of the trip. So I was happy about those moves, however while on the trip I learned a few things that the travel agent didn’t tell me, and it is my duty to let you Moguls in on the little secrets.
- Wear a recognizable shirt when on a tour– Who would have thought Superman was so famous? We went on a tour to Chichen Itza to check out the Mayan ruins and I decided to wear my Superman shirt. I think I was easily the most famous person on the tour. When our tour guide was handing out tequila he asked me “Tequila Superman??” When I was getting off the bus he asked “Do you need assistance Superman?” When he passed out some Coronas he said “You want a Corona Superman??” When we toured the pyramid the hustlers peddling merchandise said “Superman get it for $1!!” Needless to say Superman was famous that day. I just knew that I wouldn’t get left behind because everybody would take the time to find Superman.
- Mexico has some serious raccoons– One night as we walked back to the room we saw a few shits that looked like lemurs. It was a whole gang of them lil dudes running around. So many that I had to put a little pep in my step as I went back to the room while the wife took pictures. “Fuck that… let’s go!!!!” So out of curiosity we just had to know what it was we were looking at and the hotel worker informed us they were raccoons. Raccoons??? With tails like that? And a mouth like that? Bring yo ass boo, we got to get the hell out of here before you catch rabies from these lil muthafunkas!!!!
- Bring a lot of singles– You need to bring enough singles as if you are going on a world tour of every strip club in Atlanta. Everybody expects a tip. When they bring your pancakes for breakfast give them a tip. When they keep your drink topped off give them a tip. When they keep the ice cubes cold give them a tip.
- Speaking of the ATL….. If you are Black and need a job go to the ATL airport– Seriously the ATL airport seems as if it is in Kenya or some shit. Everybody that works there is Black!!! And not saying if it is good or bad, but damn if you are unemployed in Atlanta you need to go to the airport.
- Mexican Women Are Beautiful– I think it is an unwritten rule that in order to work on the resort you have to be fine. Hell even traveling through the town on our way to Chichen Itza fine women was walking the streets. Good shit Mexico. Let’s have a moment of silence for Mexico………….
- Corona is to Mexico as Miller is to Milwaukee– Everybody drinks Coronas in Mexico, and for some reason they go down like water. While we were on the tour bus the tour guide was popping the caps off Coronas like dope dealers pop tags on new jeans.
- Coca Cola in Mexico is bullshit– I don’t know what they were serving but it wasn’t Coke. Even though it came in a Coke bottle the shit wasn’t Ralph. It is almost as if they fuck up Cokes on purpose so that you say “fuck it, give me a Corona!!”
- The Cancun airport looks like Macy’s first floor – Not sure if it is like this in all areas but once you go through the international flight screening area all you see is one big shopping area before you make it to the terminals. Ladies handing out tequila shots in all flavors. And once you get a little tipsy you can purchase shades, shot glasses, perfumes and so much more. It is not like other airports don’t have the same thing, but to see it in one condensed area is fascinating.
- I saw a house cat that looked like a wildcat – Usually when you see a cat they look all furry and kind. You know the ones that live with cat ladies that just purr and mind they own business all day. However me and the wifey ran across a cat that didn’t look like Tom or Sylvester. This cat looked like it will maul you when it gets it weight up. It had stripes and a face of a future killer. Once again Mrs. Ocean was fascinated with it and wanted to get a closer look, but the cat give her a look like “Lady get on now!!!”
- Chichen Itza is breathtaking – No picture can prepare you for the beauty that is Chichen Itza. Seeing the Mayan creations was an item on my bucket list. Once we pulled up it looked like every other monument I have ever been to. A lot of people on the outside waiting in line to go in. The waiting area was filled with people selling t-shirts and other souvenirs, so I wasn’t expecting much. But let me tell you, once our group turned the corner and saw just how enormous the pyramid is in real life; I was at a loss of words. I turned into a tourist immediately. No amount of pictures was enough. The only let down I had was the fact that I could not go to the top of the pyramid. I always pictured myself up there getting my meditate on. All I could think of as I looked at the site was “God Is Beautiful!!” And his/her presence was felt throughout Chichen Itza.