So You Are Getting Married…….

Written by on June 16, 2014


wedding-02Summer time brings about sunshine, fresh breezes, bbq’s, and weddings. 9.99999999 times out of 10 you are going to the wedding, but every once and again you just might be on the end of planning one of these jokers. For those who planned one before, this post is not for you. For those poor unfortunate souls who have never had the pleasure, read on.


  1. YOU CAN’T INVITE EVERYONE YOU KNOW – This has to be rule number one. As you and your soon to be wifey sit down to make that all important list it may seem sexy to invite all your friends and family to the shindig. But unless you sittin on Michael money (pick one, any one Tyson, Jordan, Jackson) you better relax son. Those dinner plates cost money!!
  2. WITH THAT BEING SAID SET A LIMIT BASED ON THE LAST TIME YOU TALKED/SEEN SOMEONE – If you have not spoken to or seen someone in over 5 years you might be able to get away with not inviting them. No need to invite the homie you used to play pool with in your younger days. Dude may not care if he gets invited or not actually. You have to draw a hard line on the dance floor on who can come to the festivities and you might as well base it on the last time you actually saw someone.
  3. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR CASH FOR PRESENTS – Well don’t just come out and say “Give us money!!” But when your kin folk ask you would you rather have something off of the registry or cash money, take the cash money baby!!! Cash Rules Everything Around Me…… Dollar, dollar, bill y’all.
  4. BE SURE TO SPEAK UP ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT – This is your day also, not just your fiancés. If you want to spit rap lyrics for your vows speak up!! That doesn’t mean you will get it, but a closed mouth don’t get fed.
  5. UNDERSTAND YOU MIGHT GET ASKED TO DO A BUNCH OF S&*T YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO DO – The game is on and your boo walks into the room saying that you need to go to the flower store to look at……. flowers.  Now you know LeBron is on tv getting his ass handed to him by the Spurs, but you can’t stand to see the sad look she will give you if you say no. So man up home slice and go to the flower shop to look at……. flowers. So what you will look at dozens of arrangements that you couldn’t care less about. Half of them you can’t even pronounce. But hey, if you didn’t want to do all of this, you shouldn’t have asked!!! At least it isn’t during football season (if you are lucky!!!)
  6. KEEP YOUR DREAMS IN CHECK – It might seem cool to have your wedding on a million dollar yacht sailing in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. Or having your reception at the top of tallest building in your city over-looking the city’s skyline. But that shit cost man. And there is no need to spend months eating instant grits out of a bag for dinner because you saving every dime you get for a wedding that last a few hours. Reel it in and do what YOU can afford, not what other people expect you to have.

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