Things I Care About More Than Lance Armstrong & His Doping
Written by Danny P Ocean on January 14, 2013
So it looks like Lance Armstrong will sit down and confess his steroid use to Oprah Winfrey, and Danny P could not care less. First of all dude denied this for like 30 years, so why now is he coming to the forefront? If it were me I would be on some “you know lames be hatin cause I was winning all of those races and shit!! Trying to tarnish my name with nonsense. But hell naw, I ain’t take no juice Oprah!!!” I would roll with that lie until they put flowers on me. But he is coming forward in an interview that will air this Thursday. I know some of you will be all in, but I don’t care. In fact I compiled a list of things I care more about than Lance and his juice.
- Can I get a mock chicken leg made of something else than swine? I loved those things back in high-school all the way up until I found out the shits are made of Porky fucking Pig!!!! I guess that is what the mock means right? Damn shame.
- What the hell Star Wars Episode VII will be about? I mean all of the Sith are dead, who else can the Jedi fight? Does Luke turn over to the dark side? What about Chewie? Is he still alive? Questions.
- Will the Green Bay Packers ever get a defense that is about something? I am a die-hard Packer fan and I will tell you, our defense hasn’t been shit since Reggie White left. Like for real? That was back in the 90’s!! Can we get some defense please!!! Just two years ago we were thinking dynasty, now we will be happy if we can make it to another NFC Championship game!!! Kaepernick running all over us like it was a game of Tecmo Bowl!!! Blew every bit of my high!!
- Just who told Snoop that French manicures were gangsta? Nuff said……
- Will we get that OutKast, D’Angelo, or Dr. Dre drop an album this year? I mean I really don’t care, but I do care.. you know. Like that guilty pleasure you feel when you peep at a ladies panties when she doesn’t close her legs quick enough. Like you shouldn’t be looking, but since it is there why the hell not! I feel the same way. I shouldn’t care about another album from these characters, but if it drops…….