Mogul Top Ten…

Written by on September 3, 2010

10 Ways To Keep Your High Profile Mogul A$$ Out Of Jail…

  1. Hire A Driver:  You know yo ass loves to get drunk and high…so what the f*ck you look like drivin’ ?
  2. Don’t Do Dope On The Move:  If you’re gonna bake your brain, don’t do it in traffic.
  3. Dispense With The Entourage And Stick With Hired Help:  If you’re gonna be held accountable for the actions of the people in your circle, they might as well be people you can fire and blame for “poor judgment”.
  4. Don’t Text, Email, Tweet, FaceBook Or Take Pics With Your “Side Booty”:  They get mad, and they get even.  I don’t care what they told you while ya’ll were on Boo-Status.  Plus, it just provides evidence you have to hide should you decide to “treat ’em like they need want to be treated”![Insert Carmelo Anthony pic here]
  5. Never Declare Yourself A “Role Model”:  Do the best you can to be the best you can be, but for the love of Pookie, don’t declare yourself a Saint when you know there’s sh*t in your closet that would make Robert Downey Jr. blush!!!
  6. Stop Hangin’ With People That Have Nothing To Lose:  If you wanna kick it with your homies from the old neighborhood, that’s fine, but recognize they’re probably not on what you’re on.  If they were, they’d probably be there with you already.  When you wanna see them, pick the place, send an invitation with a start and ending time…then let their asses go home when it’s over.  Repeat whenever you need a fix.
  7. Date/Party With People Who Are Fellow Moguls:  Kind of like #6, but it covers dating as well.  If you think you’re fine wine, don’t date/party with MD 20/20.  It’ll be fun at first, but in the end…it will always make you sick to the stomach.  If you stick around long enough to where it doesn’t make you sick to the stomach, you’ve probably f*cked up for life and won’t be returning to “fine wine” status anytime soon. [See Whitney Houston for more on this]
  8. Don’t Get Caught Up In Your Own PR Campaign:  It’s all hype. If you start to buy the very sh*t that your selling, you’re liable to find yourself at the police station giving that…”don’t you know who the f*ck I am” speech.  Of course they know who you are, that’s why your ass is at the police station now.[See Irate Harvard Professor for this one]
  9. Avoid Repeat Offenses:  Everybody makes mistakes, and the first time you get locked up, this is a completely acceptable statement to make.  But somewhere between your 4th and 5th felony…that sh*t gets old.  Save yourself the time, embarrassment, and lawyer fees.  Unless your name is Robert Downey Jr., 3 chances is usually enough to sink Moguls of extreme talent…let alone the Mogul of the Moment.
  10. Visit Daily:  The entertaining and informative content will keep you engaged long enough to stop you from doing something stupid enough to send your silly a$$ to jail.  If you’re more prone than others…visit twice.



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