Why Are Successful Black Women Not Married?

Written by on December 29, 2009

I am about to go in!

So the other night ABC Nightline decides to do a segment on the fact that so many African-American women never jumped the broom. In fact the # is a staggering 42%! I know Ibedubl touched on this subject a few weeks ago in his Mogul Perspective feature, but I would like to throw my $0.02 in the ring. Why are so many women not/or never been married?

In my opinion it goes back to when we were all shorties. Remember back then we all knew those girls in the class who never talked to boys in the same grade level, or he had to play sports, or he had to have a car, or he had to be part of Thug-Life, or on the honor roll, or he had to do this, or he had to have that. Then when you find out who they running around with, you like those dudes “foul just like us!” Many girls had lists as long as a roll of toilet paper on who they could date. Now granted some of those women grew out of that phase as they matured, but by the sounds of it, many have not.

The women in the video serve as an example of the mind frame of some of today’s successful women, still placing high standards on men. I know some of you out there aren’t married by choice so this isn’t for you. But for the women who fall into the standards group why would you subject yourself to such a thing? Is it due to the way you were raised? Did your father drop the standards rule to you? Or was it your mother giving you the guidelines to snatching a good man? Or even yet, was it a peer thing that you and some of your college friends came up with back in the day and you just can’t let it go? It has to be something more than simply having standards.

I mean we all have them to certain degree, if you making money then your mate should make money. Or on his/her way to making money. Or at least being able to be taught how to make some money. But to have a list so particular that it has height regulations, you may just be going overboard. Especially if you aren’t finding anyone to fill those requirements. It may be time to make a half-time adjustment and come out with the new game-plan. Either broaden your selection pool or lower some of your requirements. But don’t come out doing the same thing and expect to get different results. That plan is used up.

In a quick conclusion type of way, here is the breakdown. Women it is all about compromise if you aren’t willing to do that then you may be in end up being in a lottery system; waiting to be chose, instead of doing the pickings. I’m just sayin’…….


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